Funeral Wisdom of the World

I learned about the battle of Karanberes by chance while going through the archives of my local web analytics company.  There will be no mistake, if I call the this battle one of the most bizarre thing that ever took place on a battle field. The Ottoman army was victorious without even making a single shot or facing the enemy. It all happened during Austrian-Turkish war of  1787-1791.

Gigantic Austrian army which exceeded a hundred thousand men set up a camp new the town of Karansebes, that is located nowadays in modern Romania, on September of 1788. Naturally, Austrian army represented all nations of the empire. There were Italians from Lombardy, Balkan Slavs, Austrians, Germans and other minorities that could not understand each other.

Several units of hussars were scouting for the presence of the Turks and crossed the nearby river. Hussars did not find the Turks but they met a group of Gypsies that had in their possession a lot of hard liquor. They decided to have a little party and helped themselves to a drink. While they were having fun relaxing from the horrors of war, a contingent of infantry men crossed the river too. They were war-weary too and wanted to join the party as well.  Hussars refused to share schnapps with them and got into the argument that got to its peak when one of the infantry guys fired a shot.

This led to an open combat between infantry and hussars. For some unknown reason, some infantry men started screaming the word “Turks” in Romanian.  This scared the hussars who promptly left the scenery thinking that infantry spotted an approaching Turkish army.  Galloping men rushed into the peacefully resting camp shooting and waving sabers.

Some Austrian officers quickly figured out that men on horses were hussars and not the Ottoman cavalry. Trying to restore the order they were yelling “Halt!” . This made situation even worse, because non-German speaking soldiers decided these were definitely the Turks because they misheard the word “halt” and thought that it was the word “Allah”.

The army commander got confused too because he though that Turkish cavalry is attacking the camp. He ordered the artillery fire. Without understanding what the situation was, the whole gigantic camp got up and fled in different directions. In the clouds of dust soldiers were shooting at everything that moved, including their shadows.  People were killing each other thinking that they were fighting with the enemy.  During these stampeded even the Austrian emperor Joseph II got hurt. He survived by pure chance when his own soldiers pushed him off his horse into a small creek.

Very soon the whole place was empty except for piles of dead, dying and wounded men and lots of treasure, thrown around ammunition, food and guns.  Only two days later the vanguard of the Ottoman army appeared in the area and took the city of  Karansebes and the surrounding area under its control . Astonished Turks discovered on field of the battle that never took place, over ten thousand troops that were killed and wounded by their own fellows.

Since the beginning of the 10th century till almost the end of 17th century many people were tried, tortured, mutilated and burnt at the stake because they were accused of participation in the Witches’ Sabbath. This accusation was extremely popular during practically each and every witchcraft trials. I found extremely wild accounts of it during my research on witch hunts at the local web analytics company.

During the witch craze, Witches’ Sabbath was thought to be some kind of gathering of witches, warlocks, demons and sometimes Satan in the special places. Naturally, this was a product of popular imagination, ignorance and fear which became extremely popular during European Renaissance.

The belief in Witches’ Sabbath started with the publication of fake manuscript Canon Episcopi in 905. In several paragraphs the anonymous author was condemning Pagan worship of goddess Diana  and her cult of her wild hunt. Canon Episcopi was included in many religious collections of works and soon became a canon law in Catholic church.

Generations of theologists and inquisitors with vivid and sick imagination throughout centuries created sick descriptions of Witches’ Sabbath.  Tortured victims under extreme pain would add more fuel to the fire by adding numerous weird details. Here is some stuff that you would find interesting.

Witches would be piloting the brooms or were carried by demons to the place of meeting. The gathering itself would start at midnight and end at dawn. There were accounts of witches and warlocks eating human flesh, preferably children. Usually the Satan would be present in a form of a humongous goat . It was an honor for  each witch and warlock to kiss this goat in the butt.

In other accounts whole variety of demons would be present at the Sabbath too. Munching in all-you-can-eat buffet of human flesh was accompanied by wild dances and transitioned into Black Mass which was depicted as some kind of parody on Christian Mass.  Then it would often culminate with sexual orgies where demons would copulate with witches and warlocks in every possible way.

If you think that witch hunts ended several hundred years ago, think again. Do you know that up to 1951 there was a Witchcraft Act in England which provided penalties for the practice of witchcraft? And that the last case when this act was enforced was not in Medieval times but in 1944? I found the name of the last victim of 20 century witch hunt in the archives of my local web analytics company.

The name of a poor woman who was the last one to be sent to jail because of the Witchcraft Act  in 1944 was  Helen Duncan. This lady honestly believed that she could summon spirits.

These were the tough days of World War 2  Who knows, maybe Helen Duncan was really a clairvoyant or a true medium? Authorities learned about her existence when she tried to summon the spirit of a sailor who served on a war ship HMS Barham. By the way, the sinking of this ship with a crew was hidden from the general public at the time.

The alleged witch punishment did not take long. Intelligence officers were so scared of this lady’s medium powers they they caught  and quickly prosecuted her.  They were scared that she, as a powerful witch, would be able to learn through spirits of secret war plans. Their superstition cost Helen Duncan nine months in prison.