Funeral Wisdom of the World

In many religious belief systems and funeral traditions, there is a feature that is called funerary literature or in other words funerary texts.  Funerary literature existed for thousands years since the dawn of ancient civilizations.  

Specialists do not really know when funerary texts first appeared but obviously it was thousands of years ago.  Obviously a magnificent example of funeral literature comes to us  from the ancient Egypt like the famous Book of the Dead that archeologists unearthed in many mausoleums and tombs in the Valley of Kings. 

After decoding this funerary text, we learned that the Book of the Dead was created toguide the deceased through the various trials that would be encountered before being allowed into the underworld. Specialists think that this peace of funeral literature was created as far as 26th century B.C.  

In the times of New Kingdom, from 16th to 11th century B.C. three more funeral texts were found in the burial sites of pharaohs and aristocrats from the upper nobility.  Their burial places became ornamented with “supplamental” funeral books such as  Book of Gates, Amduat and Litany of Ra.  It became a standard to cover the walls of the tombs with these texts.

For those who don’t know the embalming is the funeral science and art of preserving the body and help forestall  decomposition. It is one of the earliest surgical procedures and funeral traditions in the history of the humankind.  Nobody really knows who invented this process in the ancient past.  Of course, we are aware of the mummification in ancient Egypt which in turn served as a catalyst of the art of embalming.  We know that ancient Incas and China in the times of the Han dynasty also believed in the preservation of the body after death and developed their methods of embalming too.

Perhaps, the earliest attempt of embalming and mummification is the mummy known to the specialists as “Ginger”.  This body found in the deserts of Egypt is positively dated to 3300 BC which means that it is older than other famous mummies of pharaohs discovered in the pyramids.  Ginger is currently on display in the British Museum, but it is not very well-known to the general public. 

The reason lies in the fact that Ginger’s burial still remains rather enigmatic.  At first specialists thought that the preservation of Ginger occured unintentionally as it happened in the later discovery of Otzi the Iceman.  However, they changed their mind later, as they found pottery and other artifacts in his grave and  on the burial site. Ginger was ideally preserved lying in fetal position which also points out that there were stones on the grave that prevented the body from being eaten by jackals and other scavengers.

In 1446 a child was born in a small Italian town of Tuscany. Parents named him Luca but we know him by his full name - Luca Bartolomeo de Pacioli, who was destined to become a great Renaissance man, brilliant mathematician and close friend of another genius Leonardo da Vinci. 

Luca taught mathematics to Leonardo, he even collaborated with him on some sci-fi designs of future helping him with precise calculations. He wrote multiple treatises on many subject starting with chess and ending with magic. Yet, incredibly, this is not why Luca de Pacioli stayed forever in the annals of the history.  Without anybody’s help he invented the system of accounting as we know it today.  Our modern accounting follows in details the same principles invented by Luca Pacioli over five hundred  years ago.  This is why we call Luca de Pacioli - Father of Accounting. 

In 1494 he published a huge digest and guide to existing mathematical knowledge.  And the bookkeeping was only one of five topics covered in his work.  In to this topic he managed to fit practically most of the accounting cycle as we know it today. Among all, he described and codified double-entry accounting system, the use of journals and ledgers, accounting ethics and cost accounting. He presented us with understanding of assets, liabilities, capital income and expenses and described preparation of the balance sheets and income statements. 

Pacioli lived to be seventy years old and died in 1517 in the town of Sansepolcro.  Its worth mentioning that this shy franciscan friar Luca helped Leonardo to lay out his grandiose painting The Last Supper with mathematical precision. Grateful da Vince in his turn illustrated Pacioli’s books on mathematics.

Our contemporary funeral eulogies, epitaphs and elegies originated in ancient Greece thousands years ago.  They are all derivations of Greek funeral oration that was a formal speech presented when somebody passed away.

Ancients used funeral orations to remember the dead and his deeds.  They were known at the times of Odyssey as we find some verses that Achilles dedicate to the funeral of Patroclus.

However, funeral orations became an official ritual in ancient Greece much later. Sources credit for this Solon, who was a famous poet, statesman and lawmaker in 7th century B.C. in Athens.  He decided to make a part of funerary customs a special speech for those who died in the wars.

Within a century his decision became a part of the Athenian burial law. Archeologists still find at the ancient Greek burial sites not just depictions of the funerary scenes but even casualty lists.

Since those times many cultures of the world use all kinds of textual expressions to remember the dead, including not only funeral orations but also epitaphs on the monuments,  prayers, poems and the like.

I learned about the battle of Karanberes by chance while going through the archives of my local web analytics company.  There will be no mistake, if I call the this battle one of the most bizarre thing that ever took place on a battle field. The Ottoman army was victorious without even making a single shot or facing the enemy. It all happened during Austrian-Turkish war of  1787-1791.

Gigantic Austrian army which exceeded a hundred thousand men set up a camp new the town of Karansebes, that is located nowadays in modern Romania, on September of 1788. Naturally, Austrian army represented all nations of the empire. There were Italians from Lombardy, Balkan Slavs, Austrians, Germans and other minorities that could not understand each other.

Several units of hussars were scouting for the presence of the Turks and crossed the nearby river. Hussars did not find the Turks but they met a group of Gypsies that had in their possession a lot of hard liquor. They decided to have a little party and helped themselves to a drink. While they were having fun relaxing from the horrors of war, a contingent of infantry men crossed the river too. They were war-weary too and wanted to join the party as well.  Hussars refused to share schnapps with them and got into the argument that got to its peak when one of the infantry guys fired a shot.

This led to an open combat between infantry and hussars. For some unknown reason, some infantry men started screaming the word “Turks” in Romanian.  This scared the hussars who promptly left the scenery thinking that infantry spotted an approaching Turkish army.  Galloping men rushed into the peacefully resting camp shooting and waving sabers.

Some Austrian officers quickly figured out that men on horses were hussars and not the Ottoman cavalry. Trying to restore the order they were yelling “Halt!” . This made situation even worse, because non-German speaking soldiers decided these were definitely the Turks because they misheard the word “halt” and thought that it was the word “Allah”.

The army commander got confused too because he though that Turkish cavalry is attacking the camp. He ordered the artillery fire. Without understanding what the situation was, the whole gigantic camp got up and fled in different directions. In the clouds of dust soldiers were shooting at everything that moved, including their shadows.  People were killing each other thinking that they were fighting with the enemy.  During these stampeded even the Austrian emperor Joseph II got hurt. He survived by pure chance when his own soldiers pushed him off his horse into a small creek.

Very soon the whole place was empty except for piles of dead, dying and wounded men and lots of treasure, thrown around ammunition, food and guns.  Only two days later the vanguard of the Ottoman army appeared in the area and took the city of  Karansebes and the surrounding area under its control . Astonished Turks discovered on field of the battle that never took place, over ten thousand troops that were killed and wounded by their own fellows.

Since the beginning of the 10th century till almost the end of 17th century many people were tried, tortured, mutilated and burnt at the stake because they were accused of participation in the Witches’ Sabbath. This accusation was extremely popular during practically each and every witchcraft trials. I found extremely wild accounts of it during my research on witch hunts at the local web analytics company.

During the witch craze, Witches’ Sabbath was thought to be some kind of gathering of witches, warlocks, demons and sometimes Satan in the special places. Naturally, this was a product of popular imagination, ignorance and fear which became extremely popular during European Renaissance.

The belief in Witches’ Sabbath started with the publication of fake manuscript Canon Episcopi in 905. In several paragraphs the anonymous author was condemning Pagan worship of goddess Diana  and her cult of her wild hunt. Canon Episcopi was included in many religious collections of works and soon became a canon law in Catholic church.

Generations of theologists and inquisitors with vivid and sick imagination throughout centuries created sick descriptions of Witches’ Sabbath.  Tortured victims under extreme pain would add more fuel to the fire by adding numerous weird details. Here is some stuff that you would find interesting.

Witches would be piloting the brooms or were carried by demons to the place of meeting. The gathering itself would start at midnight and end at dawn. There were accounts of witches and warlocks eating human flesh, preferably children. Usually the Satan would be present in a form of a humongous goat . It was an honor for  each witch and warlock to kiss this goat in the butt.

In other accounts whole variety of demons would be present at the Sabbath too. Munching in all-you-can-eat buffet of human flesh was accompanied by wild dances and transitioned into Black Mass which was depicted as some kind of parody on Christian Mass.  Then it would often culminate with sexual orgies where demons would copulate with witches and warlocks in every possible way.

If you think that witch hunts ended several hundred years ago, think again. Do you know that up to 1951 there was a Witchcraft Act in England which provided penalties for the practice of witchcraft? And that the last case when this act was enforced was not in Medieval times but in 1944? I found the name of the last victim of 20 century witch hunt in the archives of my local web analytics company.

The name of a poor woman who was the last one to be sent to jail because of the Witchcraft Act  in 1944 was  Helen Duncan. This lady honestly believed that she could summon spirits.

These were the tough days of World War 2  Who knows, maybe Helen Duncan was really a clairvoyant or a true medium? Authorities learned about her existence when she tried to summon the spirit of a sailor who served on a war ship HMS Barham. By the way, the sinking of this ship with a crew was hidden from the general public at the time.

The alleged witch punishment did not take long. Intelligence officers were so scared of this lady’s medium powers they they caught  and quickly prosecuted her.  They were scared that she, as a powerful witch, would be able to learn through spirits of secret war plans. Their superstition cost Helen Duncan nine months in prison.

On May 11 we will be celebrating Mother’s Day in the US. In some ways it is our own unique holiday. This holiday is one of the most popular and commercially successful US holidays. It is the most popular day of the year to dine out at a restaurant in America. And it still remains heavily marketed concept.

But originally this holiday was intended as a call to unite women against the war in 19th century. A social activist Julia Ward Howe horrified by casualties of the American Civil War wrote the Mother’s Day Proclamation in 1870. Her call for peace and disarmament failed and did not get formal recognition at first. Only many years later some states started celebrating Mother’s Day and, eventually, Woodrow Wilson made it into a national holiday in 1914.

However, the idea of the holiday was loosely imported from the old British holiday that has the identical name. The original Mother’s Day started in England somewhere in the sixteenth century. At first it was not viewed as a holiday but more as a Christian practice of visiting one’s mother church annually. Then it grew into a day when mothers had a chance to reunite with their children. It was especially important for young working women and apprentices who were allowed by their masters to visit their families.

Nowadays, in Britain this holiday partially lost its religious meaning. On Mother’s Day people celebrate and give thanks for mothers. The holiday falls on the fourth Sunday of Lent which exactly three weeks before Easter Sunday.

Elvis Presley funeral took place in 1977.  Thousands of Elvis’s fans participated in funeral services. They lined the streets to see an open casket. Funeral pictures appeared on the cover of National Enquirer making it the fastest selling issue of that publication. Presley was buried next to his mother at Forest Hill Cemetery, Memphis.  Later, there were several attempts to still his remains, so he and his mother were  reburied at Graceland.

Over thirty years passed but the persistent rumor that the rock star did not die still consume imagination of people, creating some kind of national phenomenon and unusual funeral tradition.  Although the idea that the Presley is alive and kicking and live in hiding for so many years seem bizarre, to say the least, it does not go away even in XXI century.

If he were alive, Elvis would be in his seventies and would most likely be amazed at all the stories about him circling the country .  Rumors and gossip reached the new heights by adding all possible conspiracy theories - from an empty casket  to extraterrestrial involvement.  An army of impersonators seem to spread these stories around for publicity and advertising reasons.  It is a sure bet that any tv program or show about Las Vegas will have Presley’s song or a short tune in it.

I wish there would be simple answer, why people just don’t let Elvis rest in peace.  His former fans - baby boomers,  have already retired or in the process of retiring.  I don’t think that they are the ones who perpetuate the stories about undead Elvis Presley.  Generations of talented musicians that came after him, respect the “king”, but don’t spread the rumors either.  Except, maybe, the guy from Oasis who claimed in 2007 that he was drowning but Elvis Presley saved him.

I believe there is only one Museum of Funeral Customs in the world. It is located in Springfield, Illinois, near Oak Ridge Cemetery, the site of Abraham Lincoln’s tomb. Our team of  web analysts,  came to visit the museum along with the rest of the staff.  The museum contained exhibits dealing with American funerary and mourning customs and various related collections. Basically, it provides resources to scholars for researching funeral customs, hosts tours and special events.

We were amazed to find all kinds of funeral paraphernalia from various cultures and times. Personally, I liked rare books collection on embalming dating as early as the 16th century. We saw at the museum recreated 19th century middle class American home funeral setting, recreated embalming room from Jazz generation of the 1920s. There were exhibits of embalming equipment and instruments, examples of postmortem photography and even the scale models of Lincoln’s tomb and funeral train.

Naturally, there is humor in everything, even death. We found confirmation of this when we visited museum’s gift shop. It did not make much sense to us that this shop was selling plain polo shirts or sweatshirts. But my co-workers and I purchased plenty of hilarious stuff, like milk chocolate coffins, wooden and silver casket key rings, casket-shaped paper weights. One of our guys still wears at work the t-shirt with a morbid sign that says “Everybody’s Gotta Go Sometime…”